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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881524">Never Have I Ever Talked About Sex With My Boyfriend's Mom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalkei/pseuds/crystalkei'>crystalkei</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Never Have I Ever Actually Fallen In Love [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Never Have I Ever (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:07:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,531</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24881524</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystalkei/pseuds/crystalkei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everybody wants to know what's happening with Trent and Eleanor after Zoe's party and Paxton gets his wisdom teeth removed and is not his normal, smooth self, causing some uncomfortable conversations with Mrs. H-Y.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Paxton Hall-Yoshida/Devi Vishwakumar, Trent Harrison/Eleanor Wong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Never Have I Ever Actually Fallen In Love [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Never Have I Ever Talked About Sex With My Boyfriend's Mom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>McEnroe here, I bailed out early the other night but I’m back and ready to tell you about a bit of a conflict that was playing out in Devi and her friends’ group chat. You see, after the party at Zoe's the other night, Eleanor and Trent...happened. Devi told Fab and the both of them were now trying to see what was going on with Eleanor, what her state of mind was, what act of the play she was reading from, if you know what i mean.</p><p>Paxton brought over a pizza and they were studying in Devi’s room, on the floor, but Devi wasn’t giving the SAT prep book or her boyfriend her full attention. Not that Paxton minded, he was invested in finding out what was going on with Eleanor and Trent, too. Afterall, Trent was his best friend. </p><p>“Maybe the NSA took over her phone,” Paxton offered, pulling another slice of combination pizza out of the box. </p><p>“I like the enthusiasm of a government coverup, babe, but I think this is a little more benign.” Devi leaned back against the side of her bed and checked her phone again, no answer from Eleanor. “Tell me what Trent said again, maybe there’s a clue there.” <br/><br/>But there wasn’t. Eleanor hadn’t responded to the group chat with anything Trent related since yesterday. She had told them she got home safe from Devi’s and that was all. </p><p>“Trent got one text from Eleanor, time stamped at 9AM on Saturday morning. It said,” he cleared his throat before reading the text directly from his phone, “Don’t wash your hair for 72 hours.” </p><p>“What an on brand text for her.” </p><p>“She really loves and cares about his hair,” Paxton said, seriously. </p><p>“We’ve asked what happened, we’ve asked what’s going on with her and Trent, just no response. She sent us a selfie from Walgreens? Why was she at Walgreens? Oh my god, do you think she was picking up the morning after pill?” Devi picked up Paxton’s piece of pizza and took a bite. <br/><br/>“I can get you your own,” he paused, “Babe.” </p><p>Devi shrugged. “I’m trying it out, trying out cute endearments.” <br/><br/>He shook his head and took his pizza back from her, before he handed her another slice. </p><p>“Trent told me they didn’t actually have sex.” </p><p>“Nice to know we weren’t the only ones cockblocked that night,” she grumbled.<br/><br/>“We had sex like an hour ago, why are you whining about the thing from the other night?” Paxton laughed. <br/><br/>“I like having sex! So sue me!” </p><p>“I’m not complaining.” He reached over and pulled her fallen spaghetti strap back on her shoulder. “But they didn’t have sex so your theory on Walgreens doesn’t work. Unless..”</p><p>“Unless what?” <br/><br/>“Does she think they had sex? They were both pretty hammered. Is Trent wrong? Did he forget they had sex?” </p><p>“Feels like if either of them can’t remember we’ve hit blackout drunk and John Mulaney says that’s a serious problem.” Devi looked back at her phone before she started typing. “I’m just gonna ask her. Straight up. ‘Did you have sex with Trent the other night because from my view, it looks like it and I just wanna know if I should shampoo the couch before my mom gets home?’ There.” </p><p>“You think she’s gonna answer that question? She hasn’t answered any other text. From you, from Fab, from Trent, maybe her parents took her phone?”</p><p>But almost immediately the phone dinged with a text. Paxton scoot closer so he could read the reply. <br/><br/></p><p><strong>Fabiola:</strong> <br/><br/>You should probably just shampoo the couch, it probably needs it</p><p> </p><p>Both Devi and Paxton groaned. That was not what they were hoping for. </p><p>But the phone dinged again. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Eleanor:</strong>
</p><p>Ew, you don’t have to shampoo the couch! We just made out! Why are you guys so obsessed with this? It’s nothing! I was drunk! He was drunk! Who cares? He doesn’t like me or whatever it’s nothing! </p><p> </p><p>“He definitely likes her,” Paxton said, pulling out his phone again, ready to text Trent. <br/><br/>“You can’t text him!” Devi put her hand over Paxton’s phone. “This is confidential information from the very classified group chat! You can’t just text Trent about it!” </p><p>Paxton put his phone down but frowned. “Wouldn’t this be faster if I just texted Trent and then he could text Eleanor and then they’d just...I don’t know, date or whatever and we could skip this?”</p><p>Devi shook her head and gave him a judgmental look. </p><p>“That’s not a good idea. We have to let them figure it out. Didn’t you ever see <em> Clueless </em>?” </p><p>“I just remember Alicia Silverstone being hot, couldn’t tell you what actually transpired.” Paxton picked up his phone again.</p><p>Devi eyed him but he leaned over and kissed her, unprompted. His lips were warm and Devi kissed back, he reached for her face but Devi pushed him away. </p><p>“You’re texting one handed to Trent!” </p><p>He lifted his phone above his head. “I’m just gonna tell him she doesn’t think he’s into her!” </p><p>Devi grabbed his phone, pushing him down on the floor in the process. He let go of the phone easily but grabbed her around the waist, dragging her down with him. </p><p>“We can actually study and make our friends happy and still have time to watch an episode of Westworld!” He sat up first, then put a hand under her ass and the other on the bed for leverage and stood up, holding her, but she threw the phone onto the bed as he moved to grab it from her. </p><p>“We’re not going to interfere!” she shouted, laughing. She unwrapped her legs from around him and put her feet back on the ground. </p><p>“I’m gonna interfere,” he whispered, reaching around her to grab his phone from the bed. <br/><br/>Devi reached for the phone again, but her own phone started dinging, distracting them both. She picked her phone up from the floor and sat down on the edge of her bed, Paxton sat next to her to see the text like before but it wasn’t a text. It was Facetime and he quickly moved over so he wouldn’t be in the frame. She pushed him, and moved the phone away, at the same time. </p><p>She was out of breath and when she answered, she realized her hair was a mess, too. Devi smoothed it down and tried not to laugh at Paxton who was doing the same thing, breathing heavy just like she was. <br/><br/>“It’s not a big deal,” Eleanor said from the square on Facetime. </p><p>“If it’s not a big deal, how come you won’t talk about it?” Fabiola asked.</p><p>“Fine!” Eleanor snapped. “What do you want to know?”</p><p>“Why aren’t you texting Trent right now,” Devi asked without hesitation. </p><p>“And what? Be like ‘remember how we made out on Devi’s couch? Remember how I let you touch my boobs under my bra and then we both fell asleep because we were super sloshed?”</p><p>Paxton cringed from his spot. Devi shook her head just barely and shushed him. </p><p>“Maybe you should just text him. Ask him what’s up?” Fabiola offered. “Just talk to him!” </p><p>“I don’t even like him.” </p><p>McEnroe: We all know she’s lying right? I don’t have to say that because we all know, right? </p><p>“It’s over, it’s done, ancient history!” Eleanor moved her arm in a flourish as if to signify the end. </p><p>“So we’re going to the pool tomorrow like normal and you just won’t say anything?” Devi asked. “You’re all gonna swim and eat lunch and you’re just not going to say anything to Trent? Who will be there. Hanging out?”</p><p>“I don’t understand what’s difficult about this plan, Devi! I’m just going to pretend like nothing happened!” </p><p>Devi pressed her lips together and frowned. Fabiola didn’t look like she loved the plan either, she was frowning from her box on the phone, too. </p><p>“I’m just gonna tell him!” Paxton shouted and Eleanor and Fabiola both screamed. Devi screamed too but she screamed at Paxton. </p><p>“No!” Devi screamed. </p><p>“Paxton’s there? He heard everything? Even the thing about my boobs?” Eleanor’s voice went from loud, to louder, to loudest with each question. </p><p>“Devi!” Fab shouted. “You’ve sullied the sanctity of the group chat! You can’t let boys in on it! I won’t even let Eve in on it! This is a betrayal!” </p><p>“I’m sorry!” Devi tried. “My mom is out of town until tomorrow so of course he’s here! And he’s really invested in the saga too! He wants to tell Trent everything but I already said he can’t do that!” </p><p>Paxton sat down next to Devi now, his face barely in frame. “I’m sorry I violated the sanctity of the group or whatever, but I think-” </p><p>Before he could say anything, Devi put her hand over his mouth. “We’re not meddling!” </p><p>“Meddling how?!” Eleanor demanded. </p><p>“Trent likes you,” Devi told her without thought and then covered her own mouth with the hand she’d just used to cover Paxton’s.</p><p>“Why couldn’t I just tell her that?” he asked, annoyed. </p><p>“What did he say, Paxton Hall-Yoshida?” Eleanor’s voice was stern. </p><p>Paxton looked at Devi who just shrugged. They’d already screwed it up so okay, meddling was back on the table. </p><p>“He was just surprised he hadn’t heard from you except the text about not washing his hair.” Paxton explained. “And when he was done being hungover, he was like...moping.” </p><p>Everyone was quiet for a moment. Devi took Paxton’s phone. “You’re not gonna text him. If anyone texts him, it should be Eleanor.” </p><p>“Yeah, Paxton,” Eleanor said. “I’ll handle it.” </p><p>“Fine.” He took his phone back from Devi. </p><p>McEnroe: So Paxton didn’t text his best friend, Trent, about one of Devi’s best friends, Eleanor, because Eleanor had asked him not to. It all seemed absurd when he knew that Trent would want to know. But as penance for breaking the sanctity of the group chat, he agreed to not. </p><p>“I can’t believe you kissed me to try and get away with texting Trent.” Devi said, cleaning up the paper plates and study notes that had been tossed in the physical altercation just before the Facetime from the girls. </p><p>“You’re so smart, the smartest, biggest, beautiful brain, but you’re also really horny all the time and it’s easy to distract you like that.” </p><p>Devi’s mouth dropped open and she threw a wadded up napkin at him. “Rude! That comes out like you only like me because I’m banging you on the regular.” </p><p>Paxton stopped and looked directly at Devi. “I’d agree to lifelong celibacy and still date you.”</p><p>Devi softened and she clutched her chest. “Aw.”</p><p>Paxton smiled wide. “But I won’t ever have to because you couldn’t make it two days without jumping my bones.” </p><p>Devi’s jaw dropped again. “Dick!” She continued pelting him with the wadded up napkins. </p><p>Paxton put his arms up to shield himself from all the wadded up napkins she was throwing. “Your favorite dick.” </p><p>Devi laughed. “You hope!” </p><p> </p><p>McEnroe: I don’t think they’re going to get any more studying done tonight. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>It was 10AM on Friday morning when Devi walked into the office of Dr. Espinoza’s oral surgery. Paxton’s wisdom teeth extraction was at 8AM and Mrs. Hall-Yoshida suggested Devi meet them there so she could be with them when they drove him home. </p><p>“Mom, that’s gonna be so embarrassing!” Paxton said when his mom suggested the plan to Devi. </p><p>“Rebecca was an absolute mess when it happened, remember? It was hilarious! Devi has got to come. It’s going to be so funny.” </p><p>“I’m so in!” Devi had said without a second thought. </p><p>So Devi found Mrs. Hall-Yoshida in the waiting room, sitting with Rebecca. </p><p>“You came too?” Devi asked, sitting down next to Becca. </p><p>“Would not miss it for the world.” </p><p>“Devi!” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida broke into a huge smile. “Did your mom drop you off?”</p><p>“Uh no, she’s at work.” <br/><br/>“Am I going to have to schedule a facial to talk to her? It’s been years since I met her at a PTA thing, I think you were both in elementary school then!” </p><p>Devi smiled uncomfortably. “She’s super busy, constantly slammed.” </p><p>“That’s what I hear! Guess I’ll have to look into scheduling an appointment.” </p><p>Paxton’s mom could not meet Devi’s mom. She’d probably blow the whole relationship thing and then Devi would be dead but worse, Nalini would be embarrassed and so there’d be a whole other layer to her anger. This. Could. Not. Happen. </p><p>“You know,” Devi lowered her voice. “My mom’s office is actually really expensive. Since my dad died she’s jacked up the prices, since we’re a one income family now. It’s hard for widows but I think it’s fair.” </p><p>“Oh, I’m sure she takes my insurance,” Mrs. H-Y did not even slow down. “If that’s what it takes to have a little chit chat with her, it’s worth it! Plus my skin just isn’t what it used to be! People are gonna start asking how a cougar like me got someone like Mr. Yoshida, if you know what I mean.” </p><p>“Ew, mom,” Becca said. </p><p>“Mrs. Hall-Yoshida,” the receptionist called and thank god because Devi could not take much more of that conversation. </p><p>“Still haven’t told your mom, huh?” Rebecca asked.</p><p>“Your mom is gonna blow the whole thing! Why does she want to talk to my mom so bad?”</p><p>Rebecca shrugged and was about to say something but the door between the back of the office and the front opened and a big, burly nurse was guiding Paxton out. </p><p>“Devi!” Paxton slurred. His hair was messy and his cheeks were swollen. He pat the nurse on the shoulder. “Craig, Craig this is my girlfriend Devi. Can you believe how gorgeous she is? And what’s better is she’s soooooooooooooooo…”</p><p>Devi put her hand up to shield her face, embarrassed. Becca was already close to laughing out loud. </p><p>“She’s so what?” Craig, the large nurse asked Paxton who had trailed off and hadn’t started again. </p><p>“Oh!” Paxton paused and smiled at Devi, a little drool dripped from the side of his mouth. “She’s the smartest girl in school!” </p><p>Craig snorted. “How did <em> you </em> land the smartest girl in school?”</p><p>Becca pulled out her phone and started filming. </p><p>“I am, Craig,” Paxton’s words were difficult to understand and he’d started to sway a little. “I don’t know if you know but I am a pretty big deal at school. Real popular. Popularity. Poplar tree. Poplar, that’s a weird word. It feels funny in my mouth.” </p><p>Craig reached over and handed him a cotton pad. He looked at Devi. “I love my job. Truly.” </p><p>Devi tried not to laugh. </p><p>McEnroe: It’s hard to see the king of Sherman Oaks High, the dreamboat of the school, drooling and slurring his words. Devi couldn't decide if this had been a good idea or a bad idea. </p><p>“Craig,” Paxton said, leaning in and touching Craig’s face. “Devi has a giant brain but she’s also like an A+ kisser. We also do other things. Other stuff. She’s good at that stuff too.” </p><p>Paxton looked like he was trying to wink but blinked both eyes, his whole face scrunching up. </p><p>Devi covered her face with both hands and then looked over at Mrs. Hall-Yoshida. She was signing something. This was a terrible idea.</p><p>“Mom, we’re gonna take him to the car,” Becca said, intercepting Craig and taking Paxton by the arm. “Thanks, Craig.” </p><p>“Most popular kid in school and he’s still a mess on those drugs. I love to see it,” Craig said as he waved. </p><p>Devi took Paxton’s other arm and guided him, wobbly, to the car. </p><p>Mrs. Hall-Yoshida’s SUV was up front, thank goodness, because Paxton wasn’t exactly cooperating. </p><p>“They rolled me out in a wheelchair, can’t believe Craig couldn’t help us out like that,” Becca griped, opening the door. “Get in.” </p><p>Paxton stood, leaning on Devi and on the door. “Do you think there are squirrels in the car?”</p><p>Devi shook her head. “No squirrels, bud, just get in the car.” </p><p>Paxton leaned closer to her, getting in her face. He smelled like latex and dried drool. “I like you so much. Keep me safe from the squirrels, Devi Visha-visha-visha something. I forgot your last name.” </p><p>Devi tried not to cringe. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll get in the car first, then you can follow me,” she tried. He gave her a smile so wide she could see all the gauze stuffed in his mouth. </p><p>She moved around him and slid into the back seat.  He followed her almost immediately, gluing himself to her side, even though there was plenty of backseat. Devi reached around him and put on his seat belt, then hers. Paxton’s mom was coming out so she wanted to be ready to go, hopefully skipping anything he might say that would expose some points where they’d not necessarily been truthful. </p><p>“Devi Vishwa-can I call you Devi Hall-Yoshida, that’s easier for me right now. On these drugs. Craig gave me drugs.” </p><p>Becca giggled from the front seat. “He’s lucky I didn’t get that one on camera.” </p><p>“Paxton, sweetie, you can’t just give somebody else your name because you’re on drugs,” his mom said, a little laugh in her voice, as she pulled the car out of the parking lot. </p><p>“Mom, I love you. I love you so much. And I love Becca. But also I wanna love Devi, is that okay? </p><p>“Sure, sweetie, as long as it’s fine with Devi.” <br/><br/>McEnroe: Devi didn’t know how she felt about this. Paxton was on the good stuff. The kinda stuff they gave me when I injured my wrist at a practice during my suspension from tennis is 1984. She could believe what he was saying and call it a win. He definitely was having some of the same feelings she was having! Maybe he loved her! But then again, he was on those drugs and she’d seen enough YouTube compilations of kids saying off the wall shit after having their wisdom teeth removed. This could just be nonsense from the deep recesses of his brain. </p><p>Paxton put his head on her shoulder. “Devi do you want to have sex later? We can go in the garage and no one will know.”</p><p>Devi’s stomach dropped, she glanced in the rear view mirror and saw Mrs. Hall-Yoshida look at her and then look away. </p><p>“I don’t know what he’s talking about,” Devi lied. </p><p>“Paxton, you can’t do anything for the next three days. No swimming, no working, no fun.” </p><p>Becca turned around in her seat, phone at the ready again to record. “I can’t believe how embarrassing he’s been. This is my lucky day.” </p><p>“Rebecca.” Paxton sat up straighter and tried to reach for her phone but missed it by a mile, his arm hitting the driver’s seat. “Stop recording!” </p><p>“Becca, put it away, I told you it was fine until he said to stop.” </p><p>“I’m putting it away,” she said, irritated. "I’m doing it."</p><p>Paxton leaned on Devi’s shoulder again but his head moved immediately. “Ew, it’s wet.” </p><p>“That’s your own drool,” Devi said, wiping at her shirt. </p><p>Rebecca handed Devi some fast food napkins that looked like they’d been in the glove box for a while. While Devi wiped her shirt, Paxton kept talking. </p><p>“Mom, there’s squirrels in the car. Big ones. You gotta go home faster because the squirrels want to get home too. They live in the big tree in the backyard.”</p><p>“What do the squirrels want, Paxton?” Rebecca asked him. </p><p>“Did you know one time Devi saw her dead dad in a coyote? It wasn’t actually him because that coyote like, mauled her. Almost took her arm off.”</p><p>“That’s not exactly true,” Devi added. He turned around and looked like he might cry. </p><p>“I hope my dad never dies.” </p><p>“Paxton, stop.” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida looked back at Devi, her face concerned. “I’m sorry he said that.” </p><p>Devi didn’t mind though. It didn’t even phase her. That was new. Was that growth? Was it therapy?</p><p>“It’s fine.” Devi turned to Paxton. “I hope your dad never dies, too.” </p><p>They pulled into the driveway and Paxton tried to get out of the car but he got caught on the seat belt. Devi reached over and unbuckled him and he hopped out quickly, running for the front door except, Devi had never seen him so uncoordinated. He almost fell but his mom caught him at the front door. </p><p>Devi followed them all inside but felt like she needed to leave quickly. Who knows what else Paxton might say in this state? Would he talk about how she propositioned him at the beginning of the school year? Would he blab about her mom? </p><p>Devi followed them into Paxton’s room, but stood off to the side while his mom convinced him to get into bed. <br/><br/>“Devi can sit with you while I go get you some ibuprofen. You’re gonna need it when the good stuff wears off.” She tucked him in like he was five and he looked like he might fall asleep. She turned her attention to Devi. “Do you want some water? A soda?” </p><p>“No thank you.” Devi moved to sit in the chair next to his bed that was covered in clothes but Paxton put his hand out. </p><p>“Cuddle with me!” he demanded. Devi looked at Mrs. Hall-Yoshida unsure. </p><p>“It’s fine, whatever gets him to sleep because he’s going to be handful until he gets a good nap in. Rebecca tried to rearrange the furniture in her room when she had her’s out. It was a nightmare.” </p><p>“Don’t let him rearrange furniture,” Devi said, moving to sit on the edge of his bed. “Got it.”</p><p>“No squirrels,” Paxton mumbled. </p><p>“No squirrels,” Devi assured him. </p><p>“Let’s go to Disneyland today, Devi.” </p><p>“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen,” she said with a scoff. “You’re gonna go to sleep and when you wake up, you’re going to eat all the jello and chicken noodle soup in the house. It’s gonna be a hot minute before you can eat a Mickey pretzel.”</p><p>Before she was finished explaining, Paxton was dozing. A soft snore coming from him that she’d never heard before. </p><p>“Great, he’s asleep,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida said, as she came back in the room with supplies. She put an insulated cup on his nightstand and the pill bottle, then she did that mom thing where she pushed non-existent hair off his forehead. </p><p>Paxton looked like a little kid and Devi wondered if his mom was seeing her son as that, not as the almost adult that was his usual appearance. Did her own mom view her like that? As a little kid and not an almost adult? Parents must really be going through it, watching their children grow into adulthood. </p><p>McEnroe: Yes Devi, we really are going through it. </p><p>“I should go,” Devi said, standing up, suddenly feeling like she was imposing. </p><p>“You don’t have to. You can hang out if you’d like, Becca and I are going to watch Real Housewives.” </p><p>Devi wondered if her mom would ever watch Real Housewives. Surely not. She’d probably talk about how trashy it was and how they all needed to get jobs and then she’d point out all the work the women had done. </p><p>“Thank you for the offer, and I’m sure that’s gonna be a blast, but my cousin…” Devi tried to think of a lie quickly. “My cousin might burn down the house. She just got an air fryer and she won’t stop frying everything.” </p><p>McEnroe: Really sold that one, Devi. Great job. </p><p>Mrs. Hall-Yoshida walked Devi to the door.</p><p>“You know, Devi, I’m well aware of what happens in my garage.”</p><p>Devi’s heart stopped. She looked at Mrs. Hall-Yoshida and tried to respond but couldn’t. </p><p>“It’s fine. I know what teenagers do.” She cleared her throat. “My only hope is that Paxton is smart and safe.”</p><p>“I-“ Devi tried again but she didn’t know what she should say. </p><p>“You’re very different from his usual friends and I like that. I like you. If he ever did anything he shouldn’t, treated you any way or pressured you, I would want to know because that is not the kind of man I want him to be.” </p><p>McEnroe: Well this is awkward. </p><p>“He’s been nothing but smart and safe,” Devi managed to get out. </p><p>Mrs. Hall-Yoshida looked relieved. She smiled at Devi. “You probably would rather discuss this sort of thing with your own mother so I’ll let you go.”</p><p>“Actually,” Devi said. “Actually I don’t want to discuss this with my mother at all.” </p><p>She hoped Paxton’s mom would understand without her having to spell it out. </p><p>“Oh! No! I won’t say anything to your mother,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida said, catching on easily. “That’s your business, not mine. Don’t worry.”  </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>Devi turned to leave. Today was wild and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Paxton: </strong>
</p><p>OMG MY MOM REMINDED ME TO PRACTICE SAFE SEX AND WANTED TO TALK ABOUT CONSENT WHAT DID I SAY THIS MORNING?????</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>Devi: </strong>
</p><p>You asked if I wanted to have sex in the garage while we were in the back of your mom’s car. Then when I left your house your mom tried to talk to ME about safe sex so what I’m saying is I can never look your mom in the eye again</p><p> </p><p>The phone rang and Devi picked it up. </p><p>“I’m so sorry!” Paxton said, sounding much more like himself. </p><p>“You were also very concerned about squirrels,” Devi explained. “How’re you feeling?”</p><p>“Better. My jaw is sore but at least I can feel my face now.” </p><p>Devi had been studying at the dining table, but got up to go into the backyard to talk on the phone knowing her mom was cooking dinner and might overhear. </p><p>“Why’s your mom so...whatever that was?”</p><p>“Her parents were hippies,” he said. “She’s not as free wheeling as they are but we got an age appropriate version of the sex talk yearly from like...I don’t know always. Rebecca especially is at risk because special needs kids can be abused and my mom wanted to make sure we’d be safe. She’s weird. Like a walking billboard for sex positivity.” </p><p>“That’s kinda cool though, my mom’s sex talk was just a lot of shouting about not doing it and the occasional glare when I watch the CW and there’s a sex scene. What about your dad?”<br/><br/>“He steers clear and let’s her handle it. Normally she doesn’t talk to other people like that, I’m sorry. That was probably so awkward.”</p><p>McEnroe: It was awkward but when he explained, it seemed like a really good parenting move on Mrs. H-Y’s part. But then Devi remembered the other pressing issue from this morning. </p><p>“She said she’s gonna make an appointment as an excuse to talk to my mom! She’s not really going to do that, is she? Your mom cannot talk to my mom!” </p><p>”Oh no, she might do that.” Paxton sounded worried. “How are we gonna stop that?</p><p>“I don’t know but it can’t happen. They can’t meet. We’ll be fucked if they do.”</p><p>McEnroe: They certainly will be. </p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Don't mind me, just chugging along. I'm still doing this until the inspiration runs out.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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